Life of an old goat

There are several places on social media that advise future college football players; this is one of them. Much of their advice is of the following variety: “not everyone can be a Big Ten/SEC player, or even D1” and “remember this is a cold blooded business.” It is interesting.

But I’ll talk about things from my perspective: I was someone who didn’t have snowball’s chance in hell of playing at ANY level; not even D3, NAIA, etc.

From the time I was in grade school to high school, I lived and breathed football. By the time I got to junior high: I was lifting weights, running wind sprints, etc. In high school: weights (extra), stadium steps, ALL of the recommended summer workouts plus..every frigging day.

I trained HARD. What it got me: 2 years starting on JV, 1 year starting on varsity (small school), 1 year of playing just enough to letter on the varsity (larger school in Texas).

The cold blooded numbers: all that running got me to a….5.8 40 (not a misprint..just under 6 seconds). Ok, it got me to a 5:54 mile..not bad for a lineman but that wasn’t helpful for football. I didn’t hit 300 lb in the bench until I was 26.

Simply put: the genetics were not there.

I didn’t exactly shine at the other sports either, though I did win a few wrestling matches vs small school competition

So…first year in college, I was in the stands. And frankly, it hurt. The game had progressed without me and I felt discarded. That I did not measure up hurt. I remember seeing a photo of a famous freshman playing (Hugh Greene of Pitt) playing and I was insanely envious.

To this day, at times, I *still* feel like a major failure. Yes, I KNOW what an “outlier” is and I know that it is unreasonable to feel robbed because I wasn’t the outlier that I lusted after being. But emotions are illogical things.

Just because you want something and put in the work does not mean you will get it.

So, would I have been better off had I never cared about football or sports?

Side note about college: I was accepted by Annapolis, West Point, University of Texas, Rice University and Yale, and had financial aid to the latter 3 schools. I went to Annapolis and graduated on time, served in the Navy, and went on to get a Ph. D. in mathematics at the University of Texas. Oh, and none of the schools were interested in my football abilities. 🙂

So, what did this have to do with football and sports?

Ok, let’s talk about the Ph. D. I took that on 4 years after my math degree, and I started my program with an astonishing amount of ignorance. Let’s put it this way: in my graduate algebra class, I did not remember what a “normal subgroup” was. I am not making this up.

Needless to say, my first year of graduate school was very rough. I failed a few exams, felt like a complete idiot in class and, frankly, was intimidated by the smarter, better prepared students. To say that my first semester grades were lackluster would be an understatement. I sure looked as if I were to be one of the 70 percent that washed out.

But here is where football (and other sports) came in: I remembered what it was like to be intimidated…to be assigned to block someone who was too quick for me. I had missed tackles, missed blocks, gotten screamed at by coaches. But I did NOT quit then, and I didn’t quit in graduate school either.

The difference is that, in graduate school, I had the intellectual ability to rise to the challenge. I had to overcome my lack of preparation: I did that by studying insanely hard. I had to overcome being intimidated: this time I was in an arena that I was better suited for.

In sports, I had gotten off the deck numerous times. In my first wresting match, I got pinned in 19 seconds and those on the other team were openly laughing at me! But I learned to either tune out the naysayers or even use it as motivation to keep at it.

And so, I really believe that the resilience that I learned on the football field (and in other sports) served me well, especially in an endeavor where I had at least a little bit of natural ability.

And there was a secondary benefit: in preparing for football, I grew to love working out and pushing myself. I still do that to this day. And the I see the inevitable injuries or “chronic condition flare ups” as normal obstacles to overcome. So, I think that I am healthier because of it. And I still enjoy low key competitions such as neighborhood 5k races (though I now power-walk these).

So, while I regret that I had somewhat of a bad attitude when I played (too selfish) and I wish I had accepted the verdict that I simply didn’t “have what it took” to be a featured football player at a large high school (never mind the higher levels), I do not regret trying and giving it my all. It was a part of my overall “education in life” that I feel served me well later on down the road.