Tag: aging

Why are old people grumpy?

No, I did no “research” to see if older people are grumpier than younger people. But this Threads post generated some discussion:

https://www.threads.net/@walterbr42/post/DEYm4AUsFCJ

Here is the screen shot:

“Legit question: why do people get angrier as they get older? Especially people who are financially secure and generally doing okay in life.”

Now, as previously stated, one could challenge the hypothesis of this question. But if one accepts it, or merely wants to answer the question “what are older people unhappy about or angry about” , one has to be careful: not everyone has the same life experience.

That being said, I’ll answer for myself, with the caveat that my answer reflects MY personality, life experiences, etc.

  1. Physical deterioration My physical abilities have declined. I’ve talked about this at length in other places. I’ll just say that, at one time in my life, I could expect to finish a 5k in under 20 minutes. Now it takes me 33-35 minutes (as a power walker; my “run” would not be much faster.) It took me 3:05 to finish a half marathon as a walker. 25 years ago, I walked it in 2:17 and 26 years ago, I ran it in 1:34. I’ve suffered similar declines in strength; my current max trap bar deadlift (300-314) is roughly what my lifetime bench press used to be (310). Pull ups: 20 has no become 10. It goes on. Closely aligned with that is:
  2. Pain and chronic conditions Knees (severe patellofemoral osteoarthritis), lumbar (spondylolisthesis leading to foraminal stenosis), shoulder (os acromiale, which leads to rotator cuff issues). I do 20-30 minutes of PT every day in addition to working out. And working out: yeah, it hurts…a little. But my choices is to move and hurt a little, or do nothing and hurt a lot. The stenosis causes tingling feet but most of the time is not too bad, but I have to stretch a lot.
  3. Death and deterioration of friends and loved ones. Few people my age have living parents. But as one advances toward the expected value of lifespan, the number of friends and loved ones who die or become incapacitated, either physically or mentally, increases. And as a side note: when you want to plan an activity, (say, select sports tickets), one has to take into account what one’s friends can do (can they get to those seats?)

And let’s face it: there comes a time when one’s spouse starts to fail, at least physically. That is both inconvenient and emotionally painful.

4. Change. Now some have claimed that “change is scary” but that really isn’t the case for me. I’d say that change can be very annoying and irritating. Here are some examples: new software packages and new high level computer languages are always being introduced. Just as one gets proficient and comfortable, someone makes a change, and that leads to even more unproductive effort. Eventually, one gets tired of it.

Another example (first world problems): I used to take my wife’s “special needs adult” nephew to NFL games. He has a condition where he should eat lunch at the game. Pre covid: easy, hand him money. But now things are “cashless”: so, there is the added hassle of getting him a prepaid credit card. It is just one more thing. Yes, I see the benefit of being cashless.

Then there are the enthusiastic younger people who are just so sure that “we were doing it all wrong” and that THEY have all the answers. And once in a while, they are right. But most of the time, their “new” ideas are hare-brained; and in fact, their “new” ideas are merely “new to them”: we’ve tried them before and understand why they won’t work. But oh now, we are merely inflexible idiots.

And, there are some cases where the nature of our jobs have changed, as has our employer. In my case: I would NOT have accepted a job offer from my current employer in its current state; it was a great offer and had much of what I wanted at the time of the offer (1991). I won’t leave (unless I get sacked) because I am too close to retirement and I would not be attractive to other employers. Closely related is:

5. Mental deterioration Yes, I am very glad that I am not starting my math Ph. D. right now. I am still competent enough to teach undergraduate mathematics, and I’ve gained some perspective with my years. But learning new things (at advanced levels) off the beaten path is tough. Yes, I picked up a book on life contingencies and learned it well enough to teach a course (as a stand in) but that was hard work! And at times, I tend to shy away from the hard work of learning that is both difficult and brand new to me if there is no pay-off. My mental plasticity has decreased. No, at the moment, my mental deterioration is nowhere near as great as my physical deterioration, and I had more going for me mentally than I did physically to begin with. I have “more steps to lose” here.

6. Unrequited love and unfulfilled dreams and goals. I remember thinking that, when I got my Ph. D., I was going to work super hard and make that big discovery to get me to a research job. Then reality hit: I wasn’t that good, and it took most of my abilities and energies to do the job that I was actually hired to do. So…be happy I got somethings published and enjoyed myself (at times) along the way. And then, just over a year ago, the job really changed. I’ll keep the rest of what I am thinking to myself. Let’s just say that my angst is a mixture of inflated expectations and a tough break.

CAVEAT I don’t want to imply that my life is a living hell; in fact, I rather enjoy it (most of the time). There is still a lot I look forward to. I still enjoy loved ones and friends, and I honestly enjoy being able (at the moment) to help out others who have had it harder in life.

And, let’s just say that when the house, car, and child’s college education is paid off, there is more money for better sports tickets, trips and the like. Of course, there is a yin-yang here: I can afford to buy more weight plates for my home gym, but I am not strong enough to lift all that I have right now, and that isn’t going to ever improve.

I suppose it might be a better exercise to list things that I have to be grateful for (and I do this privately) but some things are probably best kept private.

But I just wanted to answer this young man’s question.

Working out near 65 years of age

I turn 65 in 3 month’s time. I’ve been working out regularly since 1972 (started with running and weights) and things have changed for me over time.

I was never good at sports: here is a smattering of my lifetime bests: high school: started one year of varsity and two years of JV football; was a back up for 1 year of varsity (my senior year!) though I played enough to letter. Went 12-3 in wrestling and won a 3’rd place medal in my league tournament (1974).

Weights (gym numbers) bench press PB is 310 lb (141 kg) in 1986-87..last saw 300 lb in 1993, deadlift (probably not powerlifting legal) 410 1979, clean and jerk: 195 (just over bodyweight at the time) and snatch 110 (that bad, really).

Running: 5:30 mile (1980, 5:31 in 1982) last sub 6 was 1999, 5K 18:57 (dubious course), 19:20 (certified course), last sub 20 was in 1998. Last sub 25 was in 2014. 10K 39:50 (1982), 42:20 as a Master, 1/2 marathon 1:34 in 1999 (2001 was my last sub 1:40), marathon 3:33 (1980), 3:38 (2000), 3:40 (2001) last sub 4 was 2002 (3:57); ran a 4:04 later that year.

Ultra: 101 miles 24 hour walk in 2004.

Swim: 5K open water in 1:36 in 2008; swam 1:34 in a pool (5500 yards in 2009). 15:36 is my 1000 yd PB, last sub 16 was in 2008.

Judged walks: 1500 in 8:31 (2003), 3000 in 18:03 (2004), 5k in 30:42 (2003), 20 k in 2:24 (2003) monitored power walk: 1/ 2 marathon in 2:17 (2003)

As you can see, this isn’t exactly athletic excellence. My wife calls me a “pretend athlete” as my best numbers are woefully short of what a competitive athlete can do.

But what I can do is important to *me*. And I work at it. And, well, as a 64 year old, I can do less than I once could.

Ability/recovery Of course, my capacity has fallen a great deal. To give an idea: pull ups: now sets of 5-10 (10 is getting sloppy) as opposed to 10-20 in years past. Bench press: way down; instead of repping 225, I rep 155. Walking: 14-15 minute miles feel the way that 12-13 used to.

And when I lift, I either have to take a bit off of the weight OR take longer and rest longer between sets. I have no choice. And I have to moderate my work week workouts lest I lose energy I need for my job.

Chronic conditions shoulder: I have Os acromiale (bones did not fuse together all the way) which leaves me vulnerable to rotator cuff impingements. This affects my presses. back: forminal stenosis (due to spondylolisthesis) which leads to modifications of my lifts and pull ups. Knees: meniscus in my right knee is all but gone, so no running. Back in 2020 I was feeling pain at the top of the shin bone when I ran. No space, no padding.

These lead to modifications: bench press: feet on a chair, no leg drive. High incline press and incline press: feet on a stool. Shoulder: high incline instead of shoulder press. Deadlift: heavier stuff done with a trap bar (various heights), though I am finding that lighter weights (220 lb or 100 kg) with a straight bar is fine.

Pull ups: knees forward, leads to a mild “kip”; this saves my lower back.

Running: replaced with brisk walking.

Swimming: laying off of it; my lumbar does NOT like the “extension” I get when I crawl.

Attitude I tend to not do 1 rep maxes nearly as often as I once did..and don’t do them in the deadlift at all. For me: serious strain = breakdown of form = radiating pain from my lumbar. I am reluctant to grind too much on my presses as well; don’t want to aggravate the shoulder.

Races are far less fun too, at least the smaller ones. I used to love to race; I liked the challenge, getting PB and being around the “hard bodies.” Well, at races, I am no longer around the hard bodies. The people around me are mostly a mixture of the “walking wounded” (lots of knee braces), elderly and the overweight. The ambiance is no longer uplifting to me.
And, I have no interest in pushing myself so hard that I make myself sick. 🙂

I am much more conservative than I once was. An injury means a long (or longer than before) layoff and my workouts are good for my mental health.

And that brings me to where I workout: almost exclusively alone, either on the roads or at home. The sense of community I once had no longer feels like it is there, and the days of my getting approving looks or glances are long gone.

Dealing with others The median age is 37-38. So, when people post about their workouts or post a video: well, my numbers are a beginner’s numbers, and people tend to assume that I am at the start of my journey and will eventually get better. In fact, I am working hard to slow down my slide. And yes, it sure feels as if my walking has slowed down…AGAIN. I had a speed up as I recovered from my multi-year long stenosis flare up (getting nerve signals to the legs is NICE) but now..gradually, I appear to be slowing again. I need to be intentional about including 1 “faster” walk every week.

Today’s workout took a long time but I rested between periods: started with 1/3’rd of my PT followed by a 4.15 mile walk in 1:01:10 (4 in 59:06); took about 30 minutes for the first 2 miles. Then pull ups (with more PT mixed in): 10 sets of 5, alternating chins and pulls, with 2 sets being mixed grip. Touched the chin to the top of the bar OR the throat to the bar each rep.

bench press: 5 x 134, 5 x 155 (hard), 5 x 155 (tough), 4 x 155 (ugh), 5 x 154 (good)

incline press: 7 x 120 (wobbly)

high incline: 10 x 84, 10 x 84, 7 x 90

curls: 1 sets of 10.

My struggles as an older lifter

I am 64 and will turn 65 at the end of the summer. I’ve been lifting weights in some form or another since 1972, when I lifted to get ready for 8’th grade football.

I was never good; for the curious, my bests (late 1970’s to mid 1980’s) were, in the gym, 310 touch and go bench press (butt on the bench), 410 deadlift (probably not powerlift legal) and 195 in the clean and jerk (intramural meet); my pull up PR is 27 (early 1980s)

So, it isn’t as if I am pining for past glories; I had none. Still I miss being able to bench 2 plates. I think my last time was in the mid 1990’s. 1993 was the last time I got 300 on the bench.

So, what’s up now? Like most lifters my age, I had some chronic conditions; I’ve had 5 knee operations and putting power with my knees bent at 90 degrees hurts. I have spondylolisthesis (foraminal stenosis as a result) which means that I have to make a few modifications, and os acromiale (minor shoulder defect that make me prone to rotator cuff problems)

But again, most people have some sort of chronic condition and these tend to show up at this age.

The real issue, for me, is just plain age. Here is what I have to watch for:

  1. Am I pushing myself or am I trying to lift for the ego by handling a weight that is too heavy for me, right now? Yes, there was a time when I used 225 (two plates) for 7-10..then that became 205, 185, then 12-14 years ago, 170. Now..I am ashamed to say, that is 145. I admit that part of the issue is that I now have to bench with my feet on a chair and a flat back; arching (even a legal arch) causes radiating pain due to my lumbar conditions.
  2. Are my gains (local gains) real? Example: I felt I was making great progress in my high incline press; I even maxed at 134 and did a set of 10 with 105 and sets of 5 with 115. BUT video showed I was sliding my hips away from the back support, and tying myself to the support…well…I am not as strong as I thought I was. It is so easy to compensate to make myself appear stronger than I actually am.
  3. Recovery time. During a workout: if I am working regular hours, I have only so much time. If I compress the rest periods, I have to lighten the weight used, period. If I walk first (usually brisk, vigorous walks), I need to lighten the weight used. Fatigue last longer. I recover slower. And it, say, pull ups go very well, the lifts afterward suffer.
  4. One rep maxes: usually a bad idea, especially for the deadlift and bench press. At all out efforts I lose form discipline and that leads to my chronic conditions firing up.
  5. Small aches and pains: here, I compensate by using different equipment: different handle heights for trap bar pulls, different hand positions for pull ups and chin ups (and sometimes mixed grip), Swiss bar (football bare) for bench on occasion.

Sometimes, I get down and need an attitude check. My old levels of strength are not coming back. BUT I am stronger now than I would be were I to quit. And my wife reminds me: “be grateful you aren’t picking out tennis balls for a walker.”

Yes, it is a different mentality now that I don’t have PBs to look forward to. I am working to slow my slide. That is all I can do.