social issues – Life of an old goat

Getting stuff off of my chest

This post is a first of what I hope will be a series of posts about some things that I am thinking about. One of those posts will end up on my math blog. The associated video can be found here.

Please don’t waste your time on the video unless you know (and like) statistics and actuarial science. But the overall lesson is this: when I first presented the material in class, I did NOT set up the theoretical background and that was a mistake. Knowing just a bit of the theory makes remembering the formulas a whole lot easier. As a math professor, it was inexcusable that I forgot that.

Distance running and walking: what is inspiring and what is too much?

These thoughts are based on the following: recently, in Arizona, there was a 6 day race held called “Across the Years.” The event itself sounds like fun; there were many interesting options. (24 hour, 48 hour, 72 hour, 144 hour, 100 mile, a “separate marathon a day” event, and a few others.

It turns out that former world class ultramarathoner showed up with the idea of getting in 50k total. She ended up wtih 11x miles over the 6 day period. This might not sound impressive given that she had previously won the prestigious Comrades Ultra and Western States 100, set world records, etc.

But, while she is 60, she has severe rheumatoid arthritis and so has to walk using a rollator (a walker with wheels that many elderly use). Of course, there was quite a bit of gushing about that being “inspiring.”

And part of me “gets that”: do what you can.

But, well, for me, it made me question my own goals *in the opposite direction.* I had thought about training to walk a marathon. But I am keeping tabs on my knees and some slight ache is there, even at my current level of training. And what is MY goal? I did some soul searching. And to be honest: I want to be able to comfortably finish 5K-4 miles when I am in my 80s. And how does my doing a marathon NOW align with that longer term goal? For me: finishing somehow is not what I want. I want a finish ‘with dignity” that does not trash my body.

The same applies to weights: part of me wants to see how much I can deadlift, but when I got 315 with a trap bar (low handle) (3 plates) back in December 2021, it hurt my back. I recovered. But I am not interested in setbacks. It might be time to put my curiosity to rest.

Family matters: adopting and raising a “special needs” child.

This might be a curious topic for me to post about, given that I’ve never done i and would not know how to. Of course, “special needs” can mean many things: the case I have in mind is a fetal alcohol syndrome” : the kind where the intellectual development was uneven. Some things (e. g. memory) he does very well on. When he is trained, he does not forget. But as to figuring out something on his own and making an inference: he cannot do it.

So, what is the problem? Unfortunately, neither adopted parent was healthy, and both died at non-elderly ages. Now we get to the real issue: the relatives of the respective parents completely forgot about him. That is, all but one relative: my wife (sister of the father). She is IT. And the poor guy has enough cognitive ability to be hurt by this. He has not seen his mom’s family since 1997 and that is very painful for him. And when my wife dies, no one in his dad’s side of the family will remember him.

And yes, I get it: he cannot function on his own. Someone who wanted him to visit would have to make the arrangements, get him on a bus or plane, and drive him around and be extremely patient with him when he is in the house. I can understand no one wanting to do any of that, especially for someone dull and forgettable.

And here is a blunt truth, as I see it: the *parents*, and NOT the larger family, decided to undertake the challenge of raising an adopted special needs child. The larger family did NOT agree to this extra challenge and duty.

So, that is something to consider if you want to take this on: is your larger family aboard, or at least a portion of the larger family? It might not seem fair, but I think it is best to go into difficult situtions with one’s eyes open.

So, what will *I* do if/when my wife dies or is incapacitated and I am still capable? I might ask if he wants a visit and I can take him and his roommate to things like NFL games. I’ve done this before, WITHOUT my wife.

Taking a break from the social justice duties

I’ll limit my discussion to mere verbiage. But an old photo made me think of this: about 20 years ago, my wife was still working. She held a university administrator job that involved dealing with student misconduct and the student judicial system. She dealt with roommate disputes, sexual harassment, sexual assault, etc. She also designed and ran problems, put up “woke” posters, etc. So she knew the laws, the rules and the actual situations better than the vast majority of people. She was well respected at her job.

And so, she was getting ready to go to work. She was wearing a jacket top and slightly snug pants. She asked me “are these too tight for me to wear to the office” and so I took a photo so she could see for herself. Disclaimer: her figure was sort of curvy: pants that fit in the waist tended to be snug in the butt.

Anyway, when she first asked “are these pants too tight” question, I looked, gave her a pat and then other acts of intimate affection. She deadpanned: “if random men do that in the hallway, I’ll know that these are too tight.”

That is when I took the photo so she could see.

But as far as her joking answer: that violates every tenet of feminism, and could be seen as making light of sexual harassment. OF COURSE, she knew that but she was making a *private joke* and one that made me chuckle. She was NOT endorsing such behavior, etc. And that is one thing I liked about her: she was NOT “on duty” 24-7.

My yoga teacher did something similar: we were ready to go to the basement of the recreational complex to practice our “partner yoga” poses. She put her arm around my shoulder and turned to the desk person and said: “I am taking him downstairs to sexually harass him.” (note: this was when “me too” was big). I laughed. I felt in no danger; I thought it was funny as it was directed at me: someone 9 inches taller and 60 lbs heavier. Again, she was not “on duty” and was joking among friends.

I should point this out though: at no point was any group of people put down, no one was really stereotyped (ok, maybe hetero men were, but not in a mean way). There were no slurs and nothing genuinely mean was threatened. And the audience was small; 2 or 3 people who knew each other well.

And the Holidays are upon us…again

My opinion on the Holidays was not always what it is now. I remember the days as a young man, and being deployed on a submarine about this time. Then: Christmas meant breakfast with a shipmate. Sometimes it meant home leave and yes, I looked forward to that.

Now: different story. It is a break from work; that much is true.

And for some: some love the gathering of family. That is great! Some like to gather with friends: that is great too.

Some mourn the loss of loved ones who are no longer there. That is understandable and an unfortunate part of getting older.

Some get awful news: on Threads I read about people getting terribly sick (e. g. cancer), losing a job, etc.

For some: family gatherings involve exclusion, either by choice or by being shunned. That is hard.

None of the bad stuff really applies to me, though my wife broke her foot..again. That means: more caretaking, and yes, she still invited her “special needs” nephew over. I’ll cope.

But that is what I am talking about: I kind of wanted the holidays to be a respite from duties. Instead: it is a shift of duties.

It is often said that the best giving is the kind where one will never be paid back, and I am doing that now. But, I’d rather be in a position to help out than to need help.

Looking back, I actually enjoyed the COVID holiday: just my wife and me. However she missed the family gathering.

One good aspect

I am a bit down on my wife at the moment and the upside to that is that I have more time to write, though I really don’t have much of importance to say.

Workout wise: I was scheduled to walk hard, indoors, but elected two commuter pace walks (2 miles, 4 miles) instead. It was gentle and help me get some demons out. And it got me outside.

Ok, I might make a math post later but for now, here goes: someone I know posted this meme:

Frankly: this meme is illogical. It is entirely possible for a country to import both a lot of poor immigrants who need help AND a lot of highly skilled immigrants who take high paying jobs. Doing one does NOT preclude the other.

And, well, immigration is a touchy subject, and with good reason. The very poor ones DO eat up resources. The low-skilled ones compete for jobs and sometimes, the competition is not a fair one (though we can blame employers and lax labor law enforcement for that). Then there is the issue of assimilation: sometimes immigrants bring their customs with them (e. g. loud gatherings in residential areas).

And no, these issues are NOT new; they’ve been around for a long time.

Now let’s look at the upper end: yes, importing outlier talent can be a big help. I even see that in sports: my favorite baseball team has a LOT of international players. But an issue can arise: are we importing top talent as the expense of failing to develop existing home-grown talent? That is a genuine issue.

Let me point out that I have no good answers. I think that a well thought out immigration plan can help our country and also be a way of fulfilling a humanitarian mission. I do not know the proper level or the proper mix. I believe that good people can think about these issues in good faith and reach differing conclusions.

The Brutal reality of going pro in sports

A few years ago, I was at a Chiefs game. A pop foul came my way and an age peer (60s) was standing just behind me, to my right. He reached out his hand and snatched the ball out of the air.

I looked at him wide-eyed and said “you must have played.” He got a “happy/sad” look on his face and admitted that, at one time in his life, he was a A league minor league player; he now had an office job related to baseball.

And yes, to play A level minor league baseball, you have to be better than the vast majority of college players, who in turn are better than the vast majority of high school players, who I think are pretty good.

But only about 10 percent of those that I watch at Chiefs games will become a Major League player. Just being excellent won’t get you there.

And that reminds me of these two threads posts:

Here is a 28:00 10000 meter, 1:48 800 meter runner who works at McDonalds to finance his training. Yes, he could run for some college teams and get financial assistance for his education. But his times need to be something like 27:20 or 1:43 to even sniff earning a living through his running.

Then I read this inspiring story of a runner who progressed from a 5:26 mile in 9’th grade to a 4:07 in college (as a senior) to a 3:59.37 three years after college. Only a tiny percentage of all middle distance runners have gone sub 4 for a mile. He IS elite but…well, he needs to be at least 10 seconds faster (a quantum leap at that level) to even sniff a pro contract. He won’t be earning his living as a runner, despite being elite.

And that is what it is like. An average engineer can make a nice living, as can, say, an average accountant. But even an elite athlete can peak out before the “earn your living at it” level.

Why I don’t talk about important stuff

For me, the important things are:

Welfare of my family and loved ones. Their conditions are private.
My job, and it is not good to broadcast proprietary information in public.
Events of the day: political and social issues.

So, only 3 is fit for public discussion, and I just have no interest in putting it out there. There are many reasons. I’ll vent about a few of them:

Low quality discussion. Say, I take exception to the way ICE does things (yes, I think that law enforcement should announced themselves, show badges, etc.). So, if I say this, some moron will say “oh, so you are in favor of illegal immigrants just coming over whenever they want?” (no, I am not) “Oh, you must be against deporting illegal immigrants.” (no, I am not). I just happen to believe that law enforcement should be as human as practically possible and that we ought to have better guest worker programs.
I do not love everything associated with “my side” (I am a Harris voter). I agree with many Trump voters on a few issues. But, I am not a single issue voter, and yes, Trump seems to attract many who ARE xenophobic, racist, approve of fascism, etc. But where I do say this, people would accuse me of thinking that most Trump voters are evil and stupid, and I do NOT believe that. This brings me to
While I voted for Harris and would do so again, given the choices that we had, I think that most Trump voters are really no worse that most Harris voters. In my opinion, both sets of voters have their virtues and their shortcomings, as do I. And, sadly, it is THIS point that would have me on the outs with many who voted the same way that I do.

The fact is, I think many of the attempted implications “if you voted for X, you must be in favor of Y” are just outright false.

Sigh. No, I am not smarter, more moral, or more virtuous than most. But I believe that if I *really* spoke my mind about all issues, well, I’d probably get disowned at home and have no friends left anywhere.

And…here is the kicker: I honestly believe that some of my beliefs ARE WRONG. But I don’t know which ones they are. I don’t have all the facts. I am not well informed on everything. And I am capable of getting emotional and making logical errors. On the other hand, this does not mean that I have any desired to listen to half-baked nonsense from other people. I am often amazed at how confident others are in their opinions, including those whose self confidence is a mystery to me.

Aging and working out: right now

I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while. What is different about my workouts now than before? Note: I am 65

Of course, I’ve changed what I do: running no longer works (severe patellofemoral osteoarthritis in each knee) and swimming the crawl: I have not learned how to NOT extend (arch) my lower lumbar. And I’ve modified other exercises:
Mostly trap bar for the deadlift and wagon wheel plates for the straight bar (mostly), taking the leg drive out of the bench press (feet on a chair) and switching to the high incline (supported) instead of standing shoulder press. Pull ups: keep the knees in front of the body. This induces a small “kip” which would DQ me in a competition.

But here is the major stuff:

Lots of daily PT for the lumbar, shoulder and a bit for the knee. I do this in the morning.
Longer recoveries are needed after strenuous workouts. Go too long or too hard, and it affects my job. It is even more difficult to climb stairs.
Aches and pains: I almost always have them. But they are far worse if I don’t move. So, it is workout and hurt a little bit (at first) or do nothing and hurt a lot more.
Recovery from injuries or flare ups: MUCH longer these days. This is why I am more conservative.
Pushing my limits: FAR less frequent these days. I rarely try for a max effort with the weights or with a walking race. Recovery takes longer and I want to limit the risk of injury.
Performance! At my current bodyweight: at one time in my life, I could bench press 260 lb (310 is my max, but at 40 lb heavier body weight) I could do a set of 20 “less than perfect” pull ups; now 7-9 is a challenge. I can’t quite get the 10’th cleanly. Pull ups used to be 20-10-10-10 or 15-15-10-10. Over time I’ve changed to doing sets of 5-7 and even singles. Walking: last year I got under 11 minute miles for a 5K and 4 mile race, and 3:05 for the half. In terms of my walking, my unjudged PR (not being sloppy) is 29:2x and half (monitored) was 2:17 but this was 2003. My judged PR: 30:42 and 20k was 2:24 (about 2:33 for the half) Again, this was 2003. As a runner: 19:00 for the 5k, 1:34 for the half (1982 and 1998 respectively) .

In terms of the 5k (a nice benchmark), I said goodbye to sub 20 in 1999 (last did it in 1998), sub 22 in 2002, sub 24 in 2009 and sub 25 in 2014 (last time was 2014)

BUT the good part: at 65, I am feeling the way I expected to feel at 50. At 50, I still had some gusto and still could run the 5K in 24:00 or so, and at 49 I could barely break 7 minutes for the mile. 1999 (at 39) was my final sub 6 minute mile (5:59) 1998 I could run a 5:41 1600 and I last did 5:30 in 1982.

So…no, age is NOT “just a number” for me.

Visually: 1982, 2000, 2005, 2012, 2016, 2019, 2024. I am approximately the same weight in each photo (a little lighter in 2000) but the body composition is very different.